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Joke of the day

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  #91  
Old 05-25-2015, 01:09 PM
gertie240
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Default A pirates favorite letter

What is a pirates favorite letter? it used to be R but now prefers the C
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  #92  
Old 05-26-2015, 08:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gertie240 View Post
What is a pirates favorite letter? it used to be R but now prefers the C

Huh??
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  #93  
Old 06-30-2015, 01:55 PM
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y
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  #94  
Old 07-02-2015, 03:20 AM
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Screams Of Passion

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion.

The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest
extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream,
non stop for five minutes."

The Frenchman said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special
aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream
for fifteen minutes straight."

The Aussie said: That's nothing! Last night I massaged my wife, y'know, all over her
body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter, and
then made love and I made her scream for two long hours."

The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, "Two full hours? .....
wow! that's phenomenal. How did you do it to make her scream for two
hours?"

The Aussie replied, "I wiped my hands on the curtains."
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  #95  
Old 01-25-2016, 01:37 PM
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squirrels and religion


The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels slide in and drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim. Twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

But the Catholic Church came up with another strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.
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  #96  
Old 04-19-2016, 06:47 AM
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Just found this thread. Freakin Halarious!
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  #97  
Old 04-19-2016, 09:14 AM
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Q: Did you know that lager style beer has a lot of female hormones in it?
A: No, I didn't know that!
Yup, after about 10 pints you start talking **** and you can't drive worth a damn!
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  #98  
Old 04-19-2016, 01:26 PM
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Fred and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Mary suddenly jumped into the deep end.

She sank to the bottom and stayed there.

Fred promptly jumped in to save her. He swam to the bottom and pulled Mary out.

When the medical doctor became aware of Fred's act, he immediately ordered his discharge as he now considered him to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Fred the news, he said, "Fred, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you are being discharged because you were able to jump into a swimming pool to save the life of another patient. I think you have gotten well enough. The bad news is that the patient you saved hung herself with her bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am sorry, she's dead."

Fred replied, " She did not hang herself. I put her there to dry.
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  #99  
Old 06-13-2016, 10:55 PM
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Why doesnt the city of Cleveland ever get any tornados?


Cuz they can never get any touchdowns!

--Bu-duu cha --
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  #100  
Old 10-13-2016, 05:58 PM
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Haha...took me a bit.
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