How do I get the new one one without having to break my arm in three places?
I had to tear the old one off and grind the bolts out. I can't take the bumper off without either taking the valance off or the rad/condenser our, and there is zero room for an arm or anything in that spot.

I am thinking of using double sided tape then getting as many of the bolts back on as possible.

 

it should be slide clips with bolts through them, if anything try to find some new clips and bolts, and theres plenty of room to get a wrench in there, go from under and behind the bumper, I've done it more than once on mine, just have to jack the front up a bit.