No, really.

I haven't owned a Dodge 4X4 pickup since 1987. I bought a new Jeep CJ7 in 1986 and told myself that my big tire, lifted truck days were over. No more broken axles, no more back-breaking engine work standing on a tire, no more having to go pull out friends at all hours of the night. The CJ had nothing more than a shackle lift and 31" tires and it served me well for 8 years. Followed it up with an '89 Cherokee Laredo 4X4 in '94 that remained bone stock until the day I sold it in '99 for my '96 Grand Cherokee Laredo 4X4. I stuck with a 4X4 all those years mainly for trips to the snow and to pull a motorcycle trailer through the desert, which my Grand Cherokee did well while cradling me in luxury my previous Dodges never dreamed of. Days of serious mudding turned to pale memories and the grease under my fingernails began to fade over the years.

Then my best friend decides to sell me Great White, a truck I have coveted since the day he brought it home brand spanking new from the dealer in 1999 leaving me annoyingly envious ever since. I told myself that I would leave it stock...no more lifted trucks for me, not with my bad back, knees and ankles and needing to still be able to put a dirt bike in the bed by myself. Uh uh, I said, not going back to that hell.

Innocently looking for more info on my new pride and joy, I stumble into this place. Wow, Dodge trucks sure have changed since I had that '79 Power Wagon. EFI, computers, luxury interior, V10 power to spare...my head spun like Linda Blair's. Still, I said to myself, gonna leave it stock. No more big truck syndrome for me. Talked myself into putting an FIPK on it, and then a leveling kit, just to make it sit right, of course. But that would be it, no more, I tried to convince myself.

So here I am with my 1 year anniversary of landing Great White approaching and I find myself having bought a set of bigger tires, new rims and looking at lift kits, body and suspension, and other mods. The pull is just too strong and I am so weak. I haven't had a vehicle with 4 wheels that I really wanted to get involved with since my last Dodge 23 years ago (I did love the CJ, but not as a 4 wheeler). My focus during that time was on my motorcycles, not my trucks, and I was OK with that. Or so I thought.

So I have many of you to thank for corrupting me and pushing me back to the dark side. You post pictures of your lifted trucks, your new tires, your latest accessories...you tease me with ideas, torment me with DIYs, weaken my resolve with your tales of wheeling weekends and playtime in the snow. How much is an old man expected to take?

I hate you all. No, really.

 

Well,

 

Welcome back.

 

I hear something... off in the distance... a squeaking noise... is that a queef out of you?
Getr dun brother! Come own back. It's fun over here. Besides, it's only money. You can't take it with you when you're gone.

 

So what's your next plan going to be, 5 inch lift and a skyjacker kit ? and dont worry we love you too you old *******

 

The passing of my father last month really drove that point home for me. I thought of all he did in his life, which was a hell of a lot, but I also thought of all he wanted to do and didn't or couldn't. I don't want that to be me.

 

then dont let it man.

 

Sorry about your loss.
It's time to make life happen!

 

I won't! And as revenge for corrupting me, you all get to come along for the ride.

 

i got booze!