Norma Jean, it may be a defective relay, sometimes the quality of kit parts isn't all that great, or you could have developed holes in the relay case from corrosion (another sign of poor quality for the auto environment). From what I've seen on-line, the HID relay is very much like a standard automotive relay - sometimes it's a bit different to match the HID kit manufacturer's wiring harness, but internally it's the same. To simplify communication, I'm posting some pictures showing some wiring diagrams with the HIDs, ballasts, relay, etc. Have a look at these pics and see if you find a layout that most closely fits your installation. Then, if you have a multi-meter, I'll give you some basic tests you can do to determine what works. If you get the new relay first, hook it up according to the diagrams that come with the relay or use one I've just posted, and it should work if nothing else has broken.

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i put a new harness in, and its all better. I went to tighten the zip tie that is holding the ballast to the frame, and the thing fell apart upon touching it. i would recommend people to check them, before they fall off expectantly

 

Yup, thats why I bolted my ballasts on. I zip tied some of the wires so they wouldn't bounce everywhere, but nothing with weight or of importance.