Originally posted on my site: www.thetruthaboutcars.com. I'll be adding some photos tomorrow. Meanwhile, your feedback is most welcome, both here and via my site. Enjoy.

Hot rods are preposterous. That’s why people love them. The new Magnum SRT-8 is a perfect example; the moment enthusiasts clock The Dodge Boys’ hot rod hauler they break into a stupid grin. Much of the comedic impact comes from simple nostalgia; the Magnum SRT-8 reminds them of pre-pubescent fantasies of unbridled power and unabashed style. In fact, I reckon the chop-top, dub-clad station wagon was born in the back seat of a ’67 Chrysler Town and Country, when a proto-car designer watched a young Buck in a hopped-up sedan blow his Mom’s doors off. So to speak.

In this case, adult reality matches childhood fantasy. If we’re talking about straight line performance-- which is all anyone should be discussing when contemplating a 4260 lbs. station wagon-- the Magnum SRT-8 is fully capable of humiliating even the most muscular metal. Chrysler claims the Magnum SRT-8 will accelerate from zero to sixty in the low five’s, and complete a quarter mile in the high 13’s. After bellow blasting the beast from a standing start in the breakdown lane to a triple digit sprint down the “set the radar detector on stun” lane, I believe them. This sucker is quick with a capital “K” (for I'm gonna KICK yo’ ***).

Let’s pause for a word from our sponsor. In standard trim, Chrysler’s 5.7-liter, 340hp Hemi is smooth, fast and relatively frugal. To create Magnum force, the good folks at Street and Racing Technology (SRT) ditched the frugality, added lots of cubes, dialed-up the compression ratio, redesigned the cylinder head, intake and exhaust systems; and escalated engine speed. The resulting 6.1-liter, 425hp lump transforms a reasonably rapid load lugger into a serious playa. Again, any non-exotic automobile that dares match wits with the Magnum SRT-8 risks finding themselves totally tongue tied.

OK, fine. Once the deed is done, then what? A lot of these retro machines are like funny T-shirts: after you read the joke, they’re still there; until you start to wonder if the joke was all that funny in the first place. There’s no denying that the uber-Magnum is a cartoon character, with its pavement-sniffing stance, carnivorous front fascia, roof-mounted spoiler, bling wheels and 3.5” chrome exhaust tips. This on top of a basic shape that looks like something squeezed out of a toothpaste tube (or worse). All the Magnum SRT-8 needs is a punch line: something like a bumper sticker saying “I eat minivans for breakfast”. Ba-doom-boom.

And yet, the Magnum SRT-8 makes a much more convincing case for itself than quirky hot rods like the Chevrolet SSR (a pickup that can’t pick up jack) and the dearly-departed Plymouth Prowler (a mustachioed coupe that was about as practical as a tattoo). While the Magnum SRT-8’s sloped roof sacrifices stackability, lifestyle schleppers will be well-served by the station wagon’s traditional cargo capabilities. Otherwise, the Magnum SRT-8 asks nothing of its style-conscious owners. Like all of Daimler-Chrysler's new millennia sedans, die machheissewagon is spacious and civilized, offering all the comfort you’d expect from a humongous automobile.

Well, maybe not as much comfort as its lesser-engined cousins. That’s because Dodge did everything in its power to make the Magnum SRT-8’s handling match its prodigious power: track-tuned dampers, spring rates and suspension bushings; larger sway bars, plenty o' rubber, plus-sized Brembo brakes, the works. The breathed-upon behemoth is a far stickier affair in the twisties, but it still floats alarmingly over crests. And the wagon's rock hard ride leaves no doubt that you don't have to actually hit something to crash.

Speaking of which, it’s worth noting that today's Dodge Boys are a kindler, gentler gang. The Magnum SRT-8 is suffused with safety, from its occupant-sensing front passenger airbag to its National Highway Transport Safety Association crash test ratings (five stars all 'round). While anyone with a foot for fun will switch off the ESP in the dry, the handling Nanny provides a much-appreciated final measure of wet weather confidence. Muscle cars of old may have the edge in raw excitement, but the Magnum SRT-8 let’s you have your fun and children too.

In fact, the Magnum SRT-8 isn’t anywhere near as preposterous as it looks. For 42 large you get a monster engine, predictable handing, superb stopping power, sybaritic satisfaction and a rare opportunity to make people smile. If the Magnum SRT-8’s hot rod aesthetic makes you giggle, then consider adding it to your family car shopping list. Meanwhile, we should all give thanks to Chrysler for having the cojones to hire Hot Wheels collectors in their design department. After all, driving is easy. Comedy is hard.

 

I love Magnums, especially the SRT-8, but it's no hotrod. It's a demon on wheels!



-Matt-

 

hot rods arent station wagons, doesnt matter how cool they are

a hot rod would be a charger coupe



nice review BTW

 

ramfan,
When you get your Charger, "coupe", please give me a call @ 1-800-969-KING! I'll drive wherever you are and give you a "damn-good" spanking with my "famlily wagon'!

Cheers!
KK