my 06 magnum with a 5.7 hemi needs to get its crank shaft fixed. where is it and is it expensive to fix

 

Whom told you that the crank needs replaced? What caused it?

If it does need replaced, it will most likely be expensive as it is in the middle of your engine.

 

My first thought was this must be a joke.

Second thought is if it needs fixed, your car would not be running/drivable.

As previously mentioned, it will be expensive. Pretty much EVERYTHING will have to be removed from the engine to fix it.