How Can You Improve a Terrible Television-Show Car?

I was not aware that Defiance was a television program, but I know enough about modifying cars to tell you that this was a terrible idea from the outset. In the video below, Mister Regular completely pans this car, as he should.

Note that the external rollcage is unlikely to help protect the car in any way really; the exposed lake-pipe style exhaust is completely fake; the patina is a wrap; the wheels and tires are too large for the wheelwells; and there’s a giant, glowing, spiny thing sticking up out of the hood. As dumb as it looks, I’d still love the opportunity to take it out for a run in mostly-flat desert terrain, where it might not be awful.

That said, here are a handful of things that could be done to this car to make it acceptable.

1. Proper roll protection — Safety first in the post-apocalypse. If you run into a situation where something bad happens, you don’t want your roll cage to collapse. That would be even worse. And this car has bars welded in places that make the rear doors and the trunk essentially inaccessible, which is unacceptable.
2. Proper zoomies — While safety is important, hearing really isn’t. Let that Hemi engine (actually I think this is a V6 model, but we’ll pretend) roar with pipes sticking straight up through the hood. If you’re going to do Mad Max, at least do it proper.
3. Real patina — Shed the dumb wrapped aesthetic patina and go earn some real patina by bounding across some rock-strewn plains or ramming through the forest. Every cut, scrape, and scratch on the paint is worth it.
4. SawZall the fenders — Mister Regular makes note that the giant beefy tires do not properly fit within the wheel wells, and the car frequently hits the fender openings on the tops of the tires. The easy solution there is to cut out the fenders to make room for suspension travel. Why would you not?

There’s still a lot Hollywood doesn’t know about making cars practical. I’m available as a consultant, obviously. Have your people call my people.

Chime in with your thoughts on the forum. >>

Via [RegularCars]