Friday Funny
#1
03-23-2007 | 05:50 PM
Friday Funny
Hello everyone!
I just wanted to take a second and thank everyone who comes to this section of Dodgeforum to add useful information, whether it be technical or other. I, as many others do, enjoy a good laugh now and then. If I come across a funny joke, I will be sure to share it with you, and hope that you do the same. As some of you may notice, I am very rarely on the forum during the weekends, as I am extremely busy when I am not at work. (i.e. building a racebike from the ground up to be able to compete this year, the old lady, the dog, catching up on my Tivo, xbox, etc., etc.) I hope everyone has a great weekend and be safe!
Enjoy:
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one
Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the
jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his
girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a
$5,000 ring and showed it to him.
The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want
something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his
special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at
only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her
whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said,
"We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by
check. "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it
now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick
the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.
"There's no money in that account."
"I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about the weekend I had!"
I just wanted to take a second and thank everyone who comes to this section of Dodgeforum to add useful information, whether it be technical or other. I, as many others do, enjoy a good laugh now and then. If I come across a funny joke, I will be sure to share it with you, and hope that you do the same. As some of you may notice, I am very rarely on the forum during the weekends, as I am extremely busy when I am not at work. (i.e. building a racebike from the ground up to be able to compete this year, the old lady, the dog, catching up on my Tivo, xbox, etc., etc.) I hope everyone has a great weekend and be safe!
Enjoy:
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one
Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the
jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his
girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a
$5,000 ring and showed it to him.
The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want
something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his
special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at
only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her
whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said,
"We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by
check. "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it
now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick
the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.
"There's no money in that account."
"I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about the weekend I had!"
#2
03-23-2007 | 06:14 PM
Professional
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 183
Likes: 0
From: Tampa Bay FL & Roosevelt UT
RE: Friday Funny
Kewl Kris. Yeah, same here. busy as heck on weekends. making happy with Natalie, pow-wows, car friends and such. I need a week end to recover from the weekends. Anyways, since I am old, I only know old salemen jokes. yes corny.
A sandwich walks into the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food.
A woman walks into the bar with a duck on her shoulder. drunk at the bar says " where'd you get that pig?" Woman says " that's not a pig, it's a duck" . Drunk says " I was talking to the duck".
What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless.
What's six inched long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? Money.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ****? A mechanic
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6. One to turn the bulb, one to relate and 4 to share the experience.
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They only screw us.
Did you here about the call girl who had to get her appendix out? The doctor sewed up the wrong hole and now she's making money on the side.
Why did the proctoligist use 2 fingers? In case the patient wanted a second opinion.
A sandwich walks into the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food.
A woman walks into the bar with a duck on her shoulder. drunk at the bar says " where'd you get that pig?" Woman says " that's not a pig, it's a duck" . Drunk says " I was talking to the duck".
What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless.
What's six inched long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? Money.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ****? A mechanic
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6. One to turn the bulb, one to relate and 4 to share the experience.
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They only screw us.
Did you here about the call girl who had to get her appendix out? The doctor sewed up the wrong hole and now she's making money on the side.
Why did the proctoligist use 2 fingers? In case the patient wanted a second opinion.
#3
03-24-2007 | 02:26 AM
Champion
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,051
Likes: 6
From: Roanoke, Texas
#7
04-27-2007 | 04:03 PM
Banned
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 0
Likes: 1
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#8
04-27-2007 | 04:23 PM
Rookie
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 52
Likes: 0
From:
RE: Friday Funny
Heres one
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a rum & coke. Bartender hands him an apple and says here you go. The dude looks at the bartender strangely and the bartender saystry it. The guy takes a bite and says it tastes like coke. Bartender says turn it around and take another bite. Guy does and replies damn just like rum. Now the guy orders Gin & Tonic. Bartender hands him an apple. Guy takes a bite and it tastes like Tonic. Turn it around the bartender says. He does and damn tastes like Gin.
All right all right says the guy bet you don't have one of those that tastes like *****. Bartender hands him an apple. Guy takes a bite spits and says man this taste like ****.
Bartender replies......
TURN IT AROUND!
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a rum & coke. Bartender hands him an apple and says here you go. The dude looks at the bartender strangely and the bartender saystry it. The guy takes a bite and says it tastes like coke. Bartender says turn it around and take another bite. Guy does and replies damn just like rum. Now the guy orders Gin & Tonic. Bartender hands him an apple. Guy takes a bite and it tastes like Tonic. Turn it around the bartender says. He does and damn tastes like Gin.
All right all right says the guy bet you don't have one of those that tastes like *****. Bartender hands him an apple. Guy takes a bite spits and says man this taste like ****.
Bartender replies......
TURN IT AROUND!
