The Hemi is not a real good engine (in stock form) for a truck IMO. You'll notice it's used throughout the lineup in everything from full size trucks to sports cars to SUVs and mid-size cruisers. It's a versatile engine, but the versatility kinda hurts it for any one single use.
The Hemi makes great power and has decent torque, but doesn't really show these numbers until you get well up into the RPM band. As such, I think my '98 5.9 gasser truck towed better and felt like it had more pull down low than the Hemi, despite a 100 HP advantage the Hemi boasts (although torque numbers are fairly close).
The Hemi doesn't really start getting into it's powerband until the RPM needle is at about 2200 rpm. Ever been cruising in the right lane of the interstate at about 65-70 mph and hit the gas to pass someone? You'll feel a lag until the RPM needle hits that magic 2200 mark. The fact that the tranny has essentially 2 over-drive gears (an obvious attempt at better fuel economy numbers) doesn't really help in this regard either.
I actually find that in addition to the power up around 2200 rpm, I actually get a hair better fuel economy than I do down around 1600-1700 rpm. Doesn't really make sense, other than the fact that the Hemi seems to have a "sweet spot" right around the 2100-2200 rpm range that offers a really good balance of power and fuel economy.
Again, I think the ideal effective ratio here is as close to 4:1 you can be. By your numbers the 4.10s put you a tad low but very acceptable and the 4.56s put you a bit high but again perfectly acceptable to balance fuel economy with power.
With the 4.10s you'll probably get a tad better fuel economy (but I'm guessing a fraction of a MPG) and with the 4.56s you'll feel a bit more power and it may be the little difference so the tranny can stay in a single gear longer.
If it were me, I'd do 4.56s with anything over 33", and you have 33.5" tires, but that's my opinion, ultimately it's your money and it's up to you. IMO if you get the 4.10s you'll always wonder how much more efficient the 4.56s would have felt. If you get the 4.56s I don't think you'd give the 1/2-3/4 mpg on the highway you might get out of the 4.10s a second thought.
I hope this helps.

I started with stock 3.92s and to be honest, after lifting and going to 35" tires, I thought the truck was a dog. I'd have done 4.88s if there was a ring & pinion made for the 8" IFS front in that ratio, but I have a separate daily driver, so fuel economy isn't a real consideration for me, if it was, I wouldn't have my pig weighing in at almost 7000 lbs, LOL...

 

if i go with the 4.56 what would my effective ratio be sorry to keep going on with it just dont want to chose a gear and regret it.