how do you partially change ESP, i though its either on or "Off"

 

No, if you dig into your owner's manual, carefully hidden to where it's hard to find, you'll see that on the 09's at least, pushing the button only partly disables it. To fully disable it you have to do some other stuff, including having the truck in park and holding the button down for a while. I can't remember exactly what all it entails, but it's enough that you can't do it accidently. Also, someone else pointed out that a 4wd truck must be in 4wd to completely disable it.

 

How do you launch your truck? Up against the converter hard, or do you whack it from just off idle? If you run it up against the converter, try whacking it. The rear suspension reacts quite differently between those two scenarios, and oftentimes you can "plant" the rear tires with a semi-sudden shock of torque, even with stock street tires.

Also, have you tried clamping the front of your rear leaf springs? That can work pretty well, and in fact that singlehandedly stopped my dually from wheelhopping on the track. I busted two stock dana 80 limited slip units from wheelhop before I figured that out. (It made 920 ft/lbs at 2200 rpm on a dynojet pulling in 4th gear, so it has the torque to cause some destruction)

Finally, is there any way you could make an adjustable pinion snubber for your tundra like a lot of guys use on the older mopars? That can actually turn spring wrap up into an advantage by lifting the body and planting the tires instead of just letting the springs whip back and forth. Mopar performance has been selling adjustable snubbers for the 8 3/4 axle for something like 40 years-they flat work.

 

I just power break to about 1500 rpms and ease into it at the last yellow

 

You might want to experiment with "flashing" it up against the converter as you let off the brake, like I mentioned. No guarantees, but there's a decent chance it'll work to plant your tires and let you leave harder.