I thought I would pass along an experience of mine to hopefully help others out.

I came home from work one day and proceeded to the can to take a leak. I stood inforn of the toilet, unzipped and started the job. Now, just a quick not here, we have a cabinet above the toilet and it has a shelf on it, nothing unusual here, many homes do. Anyway, as I was standing there draining the weasel I noticed something new on the shelf. It was a rounded edge white box. About 10 inches tall, 4 inches wide. If was smooth other then an 'eye' and a flashing red light. What the hell? It kinda looked like a camera lens? I leaned in for a closer look. To my surprize, it made a noise..... Now, I will never do the noise justice, but if you say it aloud, it just may come across. It sort of went..... "Wheeeeee.....(pause) Phooooo."

That is when the pain hit. I was instantly blinded, pain searing through my eyes. I did what no one should ever do, I let go mid stream to grab my eyes to stop the pain. Even through the pain, I could hear the stream hitting the back of the toilet, could feel it splashing back against me, but the pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. I turned, screaming and instantly hit the edge of the sink. I spun around, the stream spraying the room like a childs sprinkler, and landed flat on my back, still clutching my eyes. There is now a fountain, shooting up and misting back down on me. But, at this point I don't care. My eyes feel like they are melting out of the sockets and running down my cheeks. Later, I would realize this was just the tears of a grown man, soaked in urine.

It was this sight that greeted my wife as she ran into the bathroom to see what the noise and screaming was about. Me, with my pants around my ankles, holding my eyes and screaming. The fountain slowing to a stop..... and inexplicably, the scent of Gardenias.



Yes folks, she had just bought one of those Glade motion activated air fresheners. It had just shot a load of Gardenia scented spray directly into both eyes. As I washed my eyes that were now swollen and bright red, my wife proceeded to clean the bathroom and move the damn torture device somewhere else. So, if you see one of these, don't lean in to see what the hell it is.....

 

That was funny, gross,sad ,and well written all at the same time.

 

I haven't laughed that hard all morning. Sorry it was at your expense but man that was funny.

 

Hilarious!!!

 

As soon as you imitated the noise I knew exactly what it was. That story is too funny!!

 

hahahaha! Not to laugh at you, but that's some funny stuff.

 

is that what the police are going to use instead of pepper spray now? that was too damn funny, could only imagine the hurt.

 

Ah yes, I too have been temporarily blinded by the automatic scent sprayer, although not to the extent of TI 3VOM. My mother-in-law kindly keeps one on the back of the toilet that seems to only spray when standing in front of it. I now use her sink instead...

 

I was on the edge of my seat wondering what it was... I was almost SURE it was a skunk... Well done my friend! LOL

 

I had a million different scenarios happening in my mind but never got to that!!!! Oh my god I am sorry but I a ROFLMAO that is funny. Bet your eyeballs smell nice.