Coming home last night, 1:15 AM, my battery light came on at a stop light and then turned off when I accelerated. Did it again at the next light. Then my A/C stopped blowing, then my ABS light came on, wipers turn on for 1 second then the van shut itself off when I put it into park, leaving only the red outlines of the 2 guages illuminated like a demon looking at me. all this happened in a matter of 3 minutes. After I turn the key off, all electrical dies: no dome light. horn, locks, nothing. Now the vehicle is stuck in park and the Key fob WONT COME OUT??? I open the shifter interlock bypass and get it into N but the key will not come out even when back into Park. WTH? Got it towed home this morning and I measure 0.00V at my battery (?) and a DEAD SHORT between the + and - battery cables with battery removed. The tow truck driver said he got chimes when he attempted to jump it but no start. Im charging battery now but I think its damaged (maybe shorted?) as its smoking my negative charger lead at 10A draw. Could it be a bad TIPM or alternator? It has been relatively maintenance free except for losing a power window motor and 2 air door actuators and a leaking oil cooler. 147,000 miles. Battery guy who installed the AAA battery said my alternator was 'weak', wife is just telling me this.......HELP!

 

UPDATE>>> took the alternator out and it was almost black. Must have been what the wife was 'smelling' when she shut it down for the last few days. Tested it and found the internals were the dead short I saw at the battery leads, and the 0.00V I detected at the battery were real as the alt was shorted. If I were to test with the alt disconnected, I would have seen 600K and climbing as the capacitors were charging up. Charged the dead battery (for what its worth now) and got it to 13.1V and it started the van right up. Its a AAA battery installed 10/21 so its still under warranty if it proves to have low cranking amps. Lesson: a shorted alternator will KILL your car dead whenever it wants to and I still cannot explain the total drop off of voltage (I guess a short will do that?). Been around POS cars for 40 years and I never came across a shorted alternator.