Will a tranny out of a 96 1500 work in my 94 Dakota with out a lot of changing wirs and such

No it will not. The '96+ (OBDII) transmissions have an electronically controlled governor valve and your computer has no way of controlling it.

can i swap computers or is that more than plug and play. i was also told that a 96 Dakota tranny would work 3.9 or 5.2 but i dont trust that source

Nope, completely different wiring harness. So the computer won't swap. The 3.9 and 5.2 have the same bell housing bolt pattern.

eaven if the plugins r the same

But don't expect the V6 trasmission to last under the V8 It didn't come stock under the V8's for a reason.

Just like said above it will not work. And the plugs are different. For your 94 the best options are 92-95 only.

92 - 95 Dakota only or will any of the full size trannys work

Yes Rams and Vans will work.

does the 96 1500 trans have 3 plugs or 2

It doesn't matter how many plugs it has! You aren't listening to us. The '96+ transmissions are electronically controlled, not hydraulically controlled like the '95 and older. Your computer has no way of talking to the electronic governor valve in the '96+ transmissions and therefore the transmission will never shift gears.

Also, your computer has 1 large 60 pin connector and the OBDII computers have 3 smaller connectors along with a lot more overall wires since OBDII monitors and controls more parts of the car/truck. You can't splice in an OBDII computer without changing the entire set of harnesses throughout the truck, so there is no good way to get a computer in your truck that will control a '96+ transmission.

Stop searching for a '96+ transmission and start looking for a '95 or older transmission or just rebuild yours.