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I gave in and took my Durango to the mechanic. I will let you all know what i find out about this and why my 4x4 isn't working. Thanks for all the input.
UPDATE - The service shop told me so far it looks like the rear end was put in from a junk yard, which the dealership never told me about. They bearings had been replaced in it, but the locking pin? was not tightened and came loose. There were metal shavings in the differential and it sounds like it will need to be replaced.