throttle blades on a fuel injected engine are usually too far closed for an engine to get enough air to idle. thats most of the reason for the idle air control valve. everything you have stated points directly to yours not functioning correctly, as others have pointed out above. pull it and it should obviously need cleaned. carb or brake cleaner should do just fine, even wd40 will work ok. don't have to be spotless, just get most of the chunks off. assuming it didn't burn out, should start and run just fine after you slap it back in.

 

Pulled the IAC, definitely needed cleaning, but given I have 0 maintenance records from the previous owner and I got the truck 4 months ago, figured screw it, and decided to replace it anyway, got one of the BWD one's, made sure it was the right one, replaced it and truck started up and ran just fine, but now I'm getting a whistle anything between 1k and 2k rpm. Of course my luck, fix one thing and another issue pops up.

 

Whistle is just a vacuum leak somewhere. (probably) Either that, or the new IAC doesn't close off completely when you actually step on the gas...... I had a SMP IAC in my truck, and had intermittent issues with stalling, unstable idle, etc..... Replaced it with a 'spare' mopar unit I had out in the barn, and those problems all went away.....