OK, a couple things- I KNOW I am a dumba##, no need to share that...
Second, this is not on my Ram, it's on my wifes 05 Grand Cherokee 4.7L but the Jeep Forum is real quiet as opposed to this one, and the vehicles are pretty similar, so hopefully someone can help....

First, background: The initial problem with the Jeep seemed to be the battery. Up til about 2 months ago it was running just fine. Then it seemed like if it sat for more than about 24 hours it wouldn't start, just "clicked" when the key was turned. Eventually, it got to about 8 hours before it wouldn't start, finally about 2 hours. Took the battery up to O'Rielly, they tested it and found it bad so I bought a new battery and everything was fine. Until about a week ago, then it started doing the same thing- first 24 hours, then 8, then literally 15 minutes and no start, just clicking when the key is turned. Here's the thing, EVERY time I would jump the battery from my Ram, the Jeep started....

So I took the "new" battery back to O'Rielly this AM and tried to get them to warranty it. They said it's testing 93% charged, good battery, sorry can't help you.....

So I tried taking the battery out of my Ram and putting it into the wifes Jeep, not even noticing that the terminals on the battery were backwards. I am NOT making excuses, I should have checked. But I didn't.... Anyway, connected the positive Jeep cable to the negative battery terminal, then as soon as I touched the negative cable to the positive terminal all he!! broke loose, sparking, horn blaring, lights flashing, etc...

All I can find is the interior fuse box (only found mini fuses here, no relays) under the drivers side dash (VERY hard to get to) and the two relay/fuse blocks under the hood on the drivers side. Found 2 blown fuses (both relating to the radio) and thats it. No blown realys and no other blown fuses....

Now, the only thing that lights up on the dash is the check engine light. The radio works normally, but doesn't shut off right away when you close the door. Even if I turn it off manually the clock stays on when the key is out. The headlights work. The power mirrors and windows work. The power seats and sunroof both work.

The interior lights DONT work, either when the door is opened or manually. The instrument panel/dash lights DONT work, nor does anything show up in the odometer "window" or the "driver information" "window" in the tach/spedo area. The power door locks DONT work. Obviously, it's not running so not sure what else is messed up....

Questions-
1- Is there a fusible link, maybe between the battery and alternator, that might solve some of this?

2- Is there another fuse/relay block somewhere I am missing that might have more things to check?

3- Is the computer fried, and is the only computer the one near the firewall on the passenger side? How can I check this?

4- Alternator/regualtor fried also?

5- Once I get this thing running, any thoughts on the initial problem with the battery? Could there be something draining current, or do I just have a bad "new" battery (although this is really a pretty minor concern at THIS point)?

Anyway, thanks in advance to all who read this entire diatribe and have thoughts to share!!

 

I am not sure if your Jeep would have it, but some cars have a MAIN fuse and with that fuse blown a lot of accessories still work, but It will not crank or start.

 

Thanks Fris, was thinking there could be one but not sure where to look for it. There is a 40A fuse under the hood labeled JB Power (I'm assuming it's Junction Box) but it's not blown.

I can't say for sure, but I am guessing the under-hood stuff on this jeep must be pretty similar to same-time Rams and Dakotas, maybe even Durangos.

Just really rotten timing to have a "DUH" moment.... I haven't worked since Dec and starting a new job in the AM.

 

That sucks.

 

This is definately a long shot, but older cars (especialy GMs) had a fusible link in the wire leading to the starter solenoid. It was tough, but reversing the terminals on the battery would (hopefully) cook it to save other components. Are you sure that's the only fuse under the hood? some cars have two fuse blocks full of fuses under the hood. don't even read the labels, just get a test light and check them all. Some fuses have extra functions not listed

 

Try jeepforum.com good place with lots of good info

 

He said he tried the jeep forum....

That sounds serious....I would not have the slightest idea...
Might need to get the professionals involved...

 

I would start at the positive battery cable and follow it all the way out to every branch and circuit that comes off of it. I would think there would be a black relay/main fuse box somwhere under the hood(the positive cable should lead you to it) most newer cars have something like that. I am sure you probably tripped some codes in the computer that will need cleared.You may have blown some lightbulbs out. Electricity follows the path of least resistance so most damage will likely be in smaller more delicate components. You may get lucky and escape relativly unharmed but it's very hard to say without being there with my multi-meter. Also check your main negative cable to where it terminates it may look ok but corrosion on any connection could be giving you fits on some of your starting problems. Let me know what you find and with more info I might be able to help more.

 

Well remove the alternator and take it down to be tested, more than likely its fried, take the batter as well and get it tested. Then try to turn it over, if it runs you may be alright but thats a long shot depending on what wires were fried in the process. From the sound of it your BCM is gone (it controls the door locks, alarms, radio, overhead, lights, ect.).

I would check those two parts first and go from there, if it runs take it down to somewhere that can scan the whole vehicle.

 

As for the original problem, I would suspect the alternator. It is either not properly charging or the internal regulator is sticking on, which will drain the battery when it is not running.
I am assuming that you have looked through the owners manual for all fuse locations?