I was in a motorcycle accident
#51
07-26-2006, 12:45 PM
RE: I was in a motorcycle accident
ORIGINAL: Chet Ubetcha
Well, today marks one month since my accident. I don't think reality has entirely set in. Every so often I'll see what's left of my leg and wonder if it's really me lying in this bed. Is it a dream? No, it's not. It's reality, and I've got to deal with it.
I try not to ask "why me", or "what did I do to deserve this" questions. There's really no room or need for "what if". Nothing I do or say is going to change what happened, but at the same time, it's hard to comprehend why it DID happen to me and not the guy streaking down the highway in shorts and a wife beater doing a 100 mph stand up wheelie... But, it did happen, and I've got to move on from it.
Physically the doctors say I'm healing amazingly quick for my injuries. I've still got to have the external fixator on for another two months or so, but that's just to make sure that the artery is completely healed before I start moving the leg all around. That's understandable. I had all my stitches and staples removed from my left leg. I'm going to have a lot of cool scars, hehe. My foot still hurts like a muthertrukker. Doctors are working on how to combat that pain and relieve it for when I go back to the VA for rehab/therapy. I hope the figure something out, because after the relief of the epidural, I don't know if I can live with that pain again.
Other than that, there's not much to report. I'm currently still in the hospital as they try to figure out what medication with take care of the pain. I should be returning to the VA hospital any day now. I can't wait to restart physical therapy, even though I know it is going to hurt at times. However, it is one step closer to going home, and I know that the better I do there, the better off I will be taking care of myself and the better off I will be when it comes to learning to walk again on both my leg and eventually my prosthetic.
I'm doing my best to keep my spirits up. I've got a few things on my mind. For instance: am I still going to have a job once I get better? The Air Force is really cutting back right now, and I'm sure this is just what they would be looking for to axe another number. That's definitely weighing pretty heavily right now. Also, I dont' get to see my wife nearly as much as I need to see her. She's really busy with our daughter, the house, and school, and now she's back at work, so that doesn't leave much time to get up here. I fully understand, but it just sucks. They've got me on an anti-depressant, which is supposed to raise my mood eventually, and help out with the pain. They say in cases like mine, it's pretty normal to have anti-depressants prescribed, as it's pretty normal to have some sort of depression. I'd agree. I'm so tired of laying in this bed. When I get in the wheelchair, where is there to go? I'm bored with wheeling to the same three places. I know I need to keep my spirits up, but it's hard sometimes. I'm trying, though. I'm trying.
I don't know what else there is to say. I still don't remember anything about the accident itself. I don't remember anything more today than I did a month ago. I'm open for questions. Can't say I know enough to answer all of them, but I'll do my best. Can't wait to see what kind of progress the next month brings!
Well, today marks one month since my accident. I don't think reality has entirely set in. Every so often I'll see what's left of my leg and wonder if it's really me lying in this bed. Is it a dream? No, it's not. It's reality, and I've got to deal with it.
I try not to ask "why me", or "what did I do to deserve this" questions. There's really no room or need for "what if". Nothing I do or say is going to change what happened, but at the same time, it's hard to comprehend why it DID happen to me and not the guy streaking down the highway in shorts and a wife beater doing a 100 mph stand up wheelie... But, it did happen, and I've got to move on from it.
Physically the doctors say I'm healing amazingly quick for my injuries. I've still got to have the external fixator on for another two months or so, but that's just to make sure that the artery is completely healed before I start moving the leg all around. That's understandable. I had all my stitches and staples removed from my left leg. I'm going to have a lot of cool scars, hehe. My foot still hurts like a muthertrukker. Doctors are working on how to combat that pain and relieve it for when I go back to the VA for rehab/therapy. I hope the figure something out, because after the relief of the epidural, I don't know if I can live with that pain again.
Other than that, there's not much to report. I'm currently still in the hospital as they try to figure out what medication with take care of the pain. I should be returning to the VA hospital any day now. I can't wait to restart physical therapy, even though I know it is going to hurt at times. However, it is one step closer to going home, and I know that the better I do there, the better off I will be taking care of myself and the better off I will be when it comes to learning to walk again on both my leg and eventually my prosthetic.
I'm doing my best to keep my spirits up. I've got a few things on my mind. For instance: am I still going to have a job once I get better? The Air Force is really cutting back right now, and I'm sure this is just what they would be looking for to axe another number. That's definitely weighing pretty heavily right now. Also, I dont' get to see my wife nearly as much as I need to see her. She's really busy with our daughter, the house, and school, and now she's back at work, so that doesn't leave much time to get up here. I fully understand, but it just sucks. They've got me on an anti-depressant, which is supposed to raise my mood eventually, and help out with the pain. They say in cases like mine, it's pretty normal to have anti-depressants prescribed, as it's pretty normal to have some sort of depression. I'd agree. I'm so tired of laying in this bed. When I get in the wheelchair, where is there to go? I'm bored with wheeling to the same three places. I know I need to keep my spirits up, but it's hard sometimes. I'm trying, though. I'm trying.
I don't know what else there is to say. I still don't remember anything about the accident itself. I don't remember anything more today than I did a month ago. I'm open for questions. Can't say I know enough to answer all of them, but I'll do my best. Can't wait to see what kind of progress the next month brings!
For starters, it's good to see you are still keeping your head up. I cant imagine the pain your in, but I can understand both your frustrations and your thoughts right now.
The best thing I can tell you is what mckibbenmd stated, get out as much as you absolutely can. If that means just going to Wal-Mart and riding around in the electric cart and bull****ting around for an hour or two with some friends, then do so. If it means just getting outside and practicing wheelies and goofing off, do so. Do whatever it takes, and dont for a minute think your friends wont help. You just have to be willing to make the sacrifice and ask them to. Ask one of your friends to get you up in the truck...and have them take you off-roading, pain and body willing that is.
You have your pals here at DF, and I'm sure any one of us would be happy to shoot the **** with ya. Get online, yack at us via messenger! I'm always on AIM during the days...and most evenings. Anytime you just feel like shooting the breeze....feel free to hit me up. Another guy I'm sure you'd get along with and a guy who I consider a good friend is thump186. He'd definitely understand what your going thru right now.
Dont ask yourself "why me" or "what if"....its just a waste of time and you would only be doing yourself an injustice. Not to mention, you'll eat yourself alive with pity. Your a stand up guy, and you can still be the person you were before the accident. I mean, if a guy who lost both his legs in a parachuting accident can not only ride a bicycle, swim, and still jump out of a plane....I'm pretty sure you can pop on a fake leg and be back to normal. I've seen a few guys who ride that are missing a leg or even missing an arm....so dont ever think that your lifestyle or your passions cant get back to where they were. Maybe you are wiser and more cautious, or maybe you realize that **** happens no matter how prepared and safe you are.
If you need help, dont be afraid to ask......even something as simple as helping you release stress can help make your rehab easier. Dont be afraid to cry or let your fears be known.....because the only thing that will ever truly stop you from getting back on your own two feet is your fear...
Good luck on the road to recovery, and keep us in mind.....we're pulling for you...
P.S. - You were nominated, seconded, and accepted for ROTM for August.... so keep an eye on it...
#52
07-26-2006, 05:13 PM
RE: I was in a motorcycle accident
Thank you all. I can't thank you enough. I admit that I most likely suffer from some depression. It's the worst when the pain picks up and when I'm alone. However, I don't let it get the best of me! I've been keeping my chin up lately, and looking towards the end. Though I absolutely hate the place, I can't wait to get back to the VA so that I can continue my therapy. I don't intend to be on these drugs and pain killers any longer than I need to be, but for right now, I DO need to be, as the pain is just too great without them. Every now and then I try to go as long as I an witout asking for the percocet, or other pain killers, and it's usually a bad mistake, as the pain is VERY bad by the time I take the medication, and it doesn't get much better for a while. So, the meds right now are to keep the pain at bay *before* it gets too bad. Unfortunately I need to take them all right now.
I'm getting better, both mentally and physically. In a few weeks, hopeully less than a month, I should be going home. I'll get to sleep in my own bed next to my beautiful wife. I may even get to have sex again!!!! It's been a month now, and the feeling in my foot ain't the only feelings that are coming back now.....know what I mean?
Thank you all for your support. I'll definitely take you guys up on the offer to chat on AIM or just on the boards. I really appreciate it all. Thank you.
-nk
I'm getting better, both mentally and physically. In a few weeks, hopeully less than a month, I should be going home. I'll get to sleep in my own bed next to my beautiful wife. I may even get to have sex again!!!! It's been a month now, and the feeling in my foot ain't the only feelings that are coming back now.....know what I mean?
Thank you all for your support. I'll definitely take you guys up on the offer to chat on AIM or just on the boards. I really appreciate it all. Thank you.
-nk
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08-01-2006, 02:33 AM
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#56
08-04-2006, 06:41 AM
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RE: I was in a motorcycle accident
Hey Chet, I think I talked to you a couple of times when I used to be on the forum alot. I'm very sorry to hear what happened and I hope that you make it back to 100% functionality or as close as possible. I noticed that you were from little rock and it kind of hit home for me because I live in Russellville. Which Hospital are you in? Baptist? If you ever want some company then let me know, I'm in little rock often and wouldn't mind stopping by and talking about trucks and whatnot. Take care man. -Tyler
#57
08-04-2006, 09:39 AM
#58
08-06-2006, 06:33 PM
RE: I was in a motorcycle accident
So, what's up with Chet...? I'll see what I can do here...
I'm laying here, and again reality is hitting that I am missing a leg. How? Why? This DEFINITELY wasn't in my plans for my life. Something like this could never happen to me. It only happens to people you see on TV. Well, it DID happen. so, what am I going to do about it?
I'm going to work my *** off and get back on my feet again. That's right: FEET. One may be plastic compound, but I'm going to be standing upright and running and jumping and driving a Dodge Viper (if I get to stay in the Air Force and still have a paycheck) and all that happy horse ****e. I'm tired of laying in this bed and sitting in that wheelchair, and the harder I work...the more pain I endure...the quicker that all is going to happen. I've already hit rock bottom. I've had my low point. The sky is the limit from here. This is NOT going to beat me!
So...I hope that answered the question of whether I have gotten the depression under control! I'm on Effixor (I think that's how it's spelled), and that may be doing more for me than I think it is, but for the most part, I think that it's a combination of: having the pain relatively under control, having a great therapist, actually seeing results and improvements in my condition which makes me want to keep trying harder, and seeing my wife a lot more. I've been having a lot of really good days lately. I've been improving daily. Something gets better every day. I'm moving toes that I couldn't move before, my foot and ankle are moving in different directions than they ever could before, I've got better range of motion, all my open wounds are healing quickly... all this is making me want to keep working at it all day every day. Seeing results makes me want to work harder.
I don't experience too much phantom pain. Every so often, but it's not too bad. However, I feel the "lower limb" there all the time. It doesn't bother me too much. Every now and then my calf will be sore, or something like that, but it's mostly phantom itching...which is really annoying, because I can't scratch it! I constantly want to cross my legs, but obviously that doesn't work very well. Nobody else really understands what it's like to still feel it. To everyone else, they just see what's there. I still feel an entire leg. I can see how it would be easy to try to take a step on it and fall!
I've had a Wound VAC on my residual limb for about three weeks now. It's been amazing at how quickly it's healing it up. At my appointment last Friday, the doc said I should only need it on maybe another week, then in about another week after that the would shoudl be closed uo entirely! Can't wait!!! I have no feeling in the incision/operated area of the stump, so I really don't feel it anymore when they change the sponges. Right after the accident, when EVERYTHING hurt, I screamed, cried, thrashed about, and was generally NOT a good patient when they had to change my dressings. I don't even feel it anymore, though.
So, that's my story. I'm getting better. I'm working hard. I have an hour of therapy a day, but I usually go back down later in the day when she's not busy, and work on leg strength, stretches, electric therapy, or whatever. I just try to keep myself busy and moving forward. There's a tunnel between the two buildings here. It's got a pretty good incline that's about 200 feet long, and every day I push myself up and down it about 10 times in my wheelchair for exercise.
I saw a picture of myself from Mexico just days before the accident. I was weighed the other day, and I'm 189 lbs. I was a pretty solid and healthy 235 lbs before. I can't believe how much weight I've lost in here and how small my arms, chest, and what's left of my legs has gotten. I can't wait to be able to lift weights again so I can get that all back!!!
Anyway, I've rambled on long enough here. Just wanted to say that I'm doing well and improving daily physically, mentally, and spiritually. Thanks again for everything. I can't tell you how much it all means.
-nick
I'm laying here, and again reality is hitting that I am missing a leg. How? Why? This DEFINITELY wasn't in my plans for my life. Something like this could never happen to me. It only happens to people you see on TV. Well, it DID happen. so, what am I going to do about it?
I'm going to work my *** off and get back on my feet again. That's right: FEET. One may be plastic compound, but I'm going to be standing upright and running and jumping and driving a Dodge Viper (if I get to stay in the Air Force and still have a paycheck) and all that happy horse ****e. I'm tired of laying in this bed and sitting in that wheelchair, and the harder I work...the more pain I endure...the quicker that all is going to happen. I've already hit rock bottom. I've had my low point. The sky is the limit from here. This is NOT going to beat me!
So...I hope that answered the question of whether I have gotten the depression under control! I'm on Effixor (I think that's how it's spelled), and that may be doing more for me than I think it is, but for the most part, I think that it's a combination of: having the pain relatively under control, having a great therapist, actually seeing results and improvements in my condition which makes me want to keep trying harder, and seeing my wife a lot more. I've been having a lot of really good days lately. I've been improving daily. Something gets better every day. I'm moving toes that I couldn't move before, my foot and ankle are moving in different directions than they ever could before, I've got better range of motion, all my open wounds are healing quickly... all this is making me want to keep working at it all day every day. Seeing results makes me want to work harder.
I don't experience too much phantom pain. Every so often, but it's not too bad. However, I feel the "lower limb" there all the time. It doesn't bother me too much. Every now and then my calf will be sore, or something like that, but it's mostly phantom itching...which is really annoying, because I can't scratch it! I constantly want to cross my legs, but obviously that doesn't work very well. Nobody else really understands what it's like to still feel it. To everyone else, they just see what's there. I still feel an entire leg. I can see how it would be easy to try to take a step on it and fall!
I've had a Wound VAC on my residual limb for about three weeks now. It's been amazing at how quickly it's healing it up. At my appointment last Friday, the doc said I should only need it on maybe another week, then in about another week after that the would shoudl be closed uo entirely! Can't wait!!! I have no feeling in the incision/operated area of the stump, so I really don't feel it anymore when they change the sponges. Right after the accident, when EVERYTHING hurt, I screamed, cried, thrashed about, and was generally NOT a good patient when they had to change my dressings. I don't even feel it anymore, though.
So, that's my story. I'm getting better. I'm working hard. I have an hour of therapy a day, but I usually go back down later in the day when she's not busy, and work on leg strength, stretches, electric therapy, or whatever. I just try to keep myself busy and moving forward. There's a tunnel between the two buildings here. It's got a pretty good incline that's about 200 feet long, and every day I push myself up and down it about 10 times in my wheelchair for exercise.
I saw a picture of myself from Mexico just days before the accident. I was weighed the other day, and I'm 189 lbs. I was a pretty solid and healthy 235 lbs before. I can't believe how much weight I've lost in here and how small my arms, chest, and what's left of my legs has gotten. I can't wait to be able to lift weights again so I can get that all back!!!
Anyway, I've rambled on long enough here. Just wanted to say that I'm doing well and improving daily physically, mentally, and spiritually. Thanks again for everything. I can't tell you how much it all means.
-nick
#59
08-06-2006, 09:32 PM
Record Breaker
RE: I was in a motorcycle accident
Nick,
Its really good to hear your are now on the rebound. Keep workin at it , the sky IS the limit. If I lived closer (2 days drive) I'd stop in just to shoot the "breeze". I know how it feels. Got layed up for 6 mos due to back injury several years ago. Doing 100%+ compared to before.
Take Care
Its really good to hear your are now on the rebound. Keep workin at it , the sky IS the limit. If I lived closer (2 days drive) I'd stop in just to shoot the "breeze". I know how it feels. Got layed up for 6 mos due to back injury several years ago. Doing 100%+ compared to before.
Take Care
#60
08-06-2006, 11:07 PM
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