How do I fix this?

 

Usually 3 things cause a no start condition: no air, fuel, or spark.
Check for obstructions to the air filter and verify the TB blades operate freely. Then check for fuel st the rail, and verify spark by pulling a plug and grounding it to the frame.

If one of those doesn't check out, we can delve into more detail later.

 

As stated many times here on DF. Check the muffler bearings and make sure the blinker fluid isn't burnt. While your at it, make sure there isn't too much gas in the water.

 

Best way to solve the problem is to trade in your 2nd Generation for a 3rd or 4th Gen. Or go buy a Ford.

 

Wrong, to check the spark (in VW's case) he needs to put his tongue on the coil wire. If his head explodes, the coil is good.

 

How do I know if it's getting spark? Where's the fuel rail? I know I put gas in it so it has fuel, right?

 

Make sure you check the "speed of my internet" with a gauge, you might have a loose lug nut, or your tool box is leaking.

 

Don't forget, remove the diodes(not just open them) to check the flux capacitor.

 

wow.. so many things to do.. so many things it could be.. let's start a list for him:

1. exchange the stale air in your tires. buy only Sandia National Laboratory certified air for replacement.. our trucks don't like aftermarket for some reason, and often refuse to roll on it..

2. make sure and swap the air in the spare too.. you can get by with mother mopar air for it though, and save a few dimes..

3. (please take this and roll with it until he figures it out)

 

It won't run? Will it walk? How about jog? Maybe you have the wrong tires on it??