Tools Explained!
Tools Explained!
Tools Explained:
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
King Jackass
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,610
Likes: 5
From: Aurora, CO
Eimer: you forgot a few, I will help.
BFH: This acronym stands for "Big F*&^ing Hammer". This tool is quite versatile in achieving several levels of pounding characteristics.
Jesus Clip Remover: AKA Snap ring pliers. These are called "Jesus Clip Removers" because every time you compress a snap ring, and it flies, you scream, "JESUS!!"
Timing Light: For advanced mechanics. We use these to set our base ignition timing before top dead center.
Last edited by donkeypunch; Jan 22, 2011 at 12:19 AM.
King Jackass
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,610
Likes: 5
From: Aurora, CO
Ha! I found it!
https://dodgeforum.com/forum/3rd-gen...o-dodge-2.html
By the way. Regnath, when did you get the roll pan? WTF mate? No pics?
https://dodgeforum.com/forum/3rd-gen...o-dodge-2.html
By the way. Regnath, when did you get the roll pan? WTF mate? No pics?
Champion
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,686
Likes: 0
From: Greenfield, Wisconsin
Rookie
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 50
Likes: 0
OMG!!!! The thing is that there all true. Expecially the vice grips and the drill press. as far as the hydraulic floor jack that would suck if that ever actually happened. 
Also,
rengnath I think you should get that thing cromed it would look awsome.
Also,
rengnath I think you should get that thing cromed it would look awsome.
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Champion
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,686
Likes: 0
From: Greenfield, Wisconsin
Haha, if it was a steel one I would definetly think about it. Being fiberglass, its tough enough to get it painted while still looking straight. Lol. Roll pan selection is quite limited for our trucks though so I had to take what I could get.
Rookie
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 50
Likes: 0
http://www.amazon.com/Chroma-Graphic...xgy_auto_img_c
I dont know if this stuff is any good but I seen stuff thats similar to it and it looks real. I know auto zone and advanced auto has some stuff like this also but im not shure about the size. Or maybe even purt a strip on the top of it to make it look like the crome molding on the front.
Just giveing my 2 cents lol.
Champion
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,686
Likes: 0
From: Greenfield, Wisconsin
Have you thought of anything like this and just cutting it to size. I have been thinking of makeing eyebrows out of it for a while now.
http://www.amazon.com/Chroma-Graphic...xgy_auto_img_c
I dont know if this stuff is any good but I seen stuff thats similar to it and it looks real. I know auto zone and advanced auto has some stuff like this also but im not shure about the size. Or maybe even purt a strip on the top of it to make it look like the crome molding on the front.
Just giveing my 2 cents lol.
http://www.amazon.com/Chroma-Graphic...xgy_auto_img_c
I dont know if this stuff is any good but I seen stuff thats similar to it and it looks real. I know auto zone and advanced auto has some stuff like this also but im not shure about the size. Or maybe even purt a strip on the top of it to make it look like the crome molding on the front.
Just giveing my 2 cents lol.
