First of all .. BIG TIME PROPS to you Jimmy for reaching out here looking for help / tips / advise on how best to raise you boy. It speaks leaps and bounds about the parent that you are and how much you care about your son. PROPS to you !!!

I am in a similar and yet totally different situation. My ladyfriend lives with me and she's brought her 2 kids along who I adore, however at times they can be bratty. The problem is that since I'm not their father, I can't really disipline at all. My hands, much like your babysitters, are tied. Lately I've been watching Supernanny for tips on how to handle out of control kids. Even though she hasn't done a show on a couple similar to my situation, her techniques seem to work really well. I know I've tried a couple and so far, so good. Someone else here already mentioned it and it is also a lesson that I learned from her show. When you have to talk seriously to your child, stoop down to their level, look them right in the eye, and speak. I've done that countless times and it works.

Best of luck to ya !!

 

my father only spanked me a few times as a child.. but everytime it was for something big and important.. later in my teen years my father was dying from emphysema and weighed around 100 pounds.. i remember telling him i wasgoing to dowhat i wanted no matter what he said... he looked at me and told me that he would spend his last breath kicking my ***.. if thats what it took to show me i was going to do exactly as he said.. not as i wanted.... and i remember having absolutely no doubt he meant what he was saying.. that is a shining example of what drew is saying

jimmy - thanks for posting this message ..being a parent is one of the most frustrating things in the world.. you're always questioning yourself and trying to do the right thing.. it's hard to know whats right in different situations.. some situations you handle wrong..more oftenyou get it right.. and its the sum of all the experiences that make a kid grow upto bea good human..

i have a 23 year old and a 13 year old.. and they are completely different.. what worked on one doesnt work on the other... and even though there were times i questioned everything.. my 23 year old has grown up into a very responsible adult i would choose to be friends with even if he wasnt my kid .. now i just gotta get this 13 year old past the terrible teens!!... it doesnt get any easier buddy!

good luck and hang in there

 

Thanks guys, a update from my wife is he was a very good boy this morning. I will see how it progresses.

 

Jimmy,I have bouts of the same problems with my 8 year old, the boy is strong willed. With my daugther I started very young with a corrective smack on the hand, and the count to three method, on three she got the smack. She learned very quickly to obey. This did not and still does not work with my boy. He will go to three EVERY time! I have tried taking various things away, to little avail. In 1st grade he wanted to join the Boy Scouts, and I let him, but he had to EARN his uniform and the father son camping trip. Hehas made real progress with consequences and rewards. It is tough being Dad sometimes. My wife has no clue as to how to discipline a child. What's wrong today is OK tomorrow and vice versa. This is the worst thing in the world for a child. Boundries should be set and strickly enforced, this actually comforts children. I remember back to my childhood and my mom would tear us kids up. It doesn't matter, I love her and respect her and always will. She, just like you and I, was doing the best she could at the time. My Dad only hit me three times in my life, but buddy they were drag me through the house by the foot beat downs. Again, he did the best he knew how. He was also the poster child for honesty, fairness, and dignity. He passed away 6 years ago andI miss him to no end. See he not only demanded my respect, but he earned it throughtthe way he lived. He walked the walk and talked the talk. Don't sweat things too much. If you have a faith that you belive in, pray for guidance, it will come. Thanks for posting man.

 

Thanks Nick, I am just at wits end. I try to be a friend and a father at the same time and find it conflicts. I am going to have a talk with him tonight.

 

That is exactly the way I feel about my dad. I am a grown man with a son of my own and I wouldn't dream of talking back to him or even drinking a beer around him (he is very religious)because I respect him.

 

Jimmy - - thanks for reminding me I'm not the only one out there wishing you could sell kids on e-bay some days.

My 7 year old is very very very (oh there's just not enought very's) strong-willed and stuborn (I know he takes after someone I just don't know who). The worst part with my boy is what works one week will not work the next. We have played every trick in the book. We just have to keep trying.

Just about the time I'm ready to throw my hands in the air and storm out of the house he always finds some cute thing to do though.

If you find that magic reciepe for kids you make sure and send me a copy OK.

 

the recipe "for" kids or recipe for delaing with kids?

 

Well I think like many of you I grew up in the age when it was ok to whoop a kids *** and not worry about going to jail. Now they tell the kids in school that if they get hit, call the cops. Society has let us down!
I took several beatings from mom, and looking back there is not one I did not deserve.
I would not say I beat my kids, I have never BEAT them. I have smacked their *** when needed when they were younger (they are now 11 and 12), but I cannot even remember the last time I had to do that. Usually when Dad raises his voice it is enought to let them know Dad mean business. I think you have to teach them respect when they are younger, and they will display it later.
My kids are somewhat spoiled I guess, because they get almost anything they want...ALMOST, which is probably because I grew up so poor and had a whole lot of NOTHING. However they are good kids, you can take out in public without problems unlike many kids I see in resturants, grocery store etc. They are good students, and don't get in trouble...what more can I ask for?
This is going to sound kinda crude but training a kid is like training a dog, you have to be consistent and persistant. Respect for others is taught...not genetic!

 

Do what I do when times are tuff, Take him hunting or fishing. Do a "man" getaway. Get away from mom and have some fun. no strippers though, still to young. Hobbies are good ones too, r/c cars. 4 wheelers. best thing In my opinion is to get them outdoors and have fun with em. They just want attention, So do what time allows and remember you were a kid once. Would you rather be in trouble or Do somethin kool with your dad and get to bragg to all your friends about it?