need advise
#31
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not just chores does it, anything to keep them busy. They are showing that kids with active extracurricular lives(sports, or band, or hobbies, or whatever) are less likely to get into trouble and more likely to attend college. I know you can make a study say whatever you want it to, but it is logical.
Another bit of advice I read when I was a new daddy was to pretty much tell the kid from the time they are starting school that there is at least 16 years of school, after elementary school, there is Jr. High, then High school, then college. if you raise them to believe that their whole life they are more likely to go to college. Again, dont know if it is true, but I know my kids who are in 6th and 7th grade, believe that you HAVE TO go to college...at least right now they do. No matter what it costs me I am definitely not going to convince them any other way. I want them to be better educated than their dear old dad, and not have to attend the school of hard knocks to get by in life.
Another bit of advice I read when I was a new daddy was to pretty much tell the kid from the time they are starting school that there is at least 16 years of school, after elementary school, there is Jr. High, then High school, then college. if you raise them to believe that their whole life they are more likely to go to college. Again, dont know if it is true, but I know my kids who are in 6th and 7th grade, believe that you HAVE TO go to college...at least right now they do. No matter what it costs me I am definitely not going to convince them any other way. I want them to be better educated than their dear old dad, and not have to attend the school of hard knocks to get by in life.
#32
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heres the cover page from the packet we received at the seminar. use the web adress on here for more info.
www.charliea.com
this is the work shop I took.
Workshops for Parent Groups
Responding Versus Reacting to Your Kids: Key Principles and Techniques for Effective Parenting.
Our most popular workshop for parents, this two- to eight-hour training covers the following areas:
[*]Managing number one, first (i.e. coping strategies that help parents stay calm under pressure)[*]Understanding the relationship between lack of support and punitive actions, and what to do when support is insufficient[*]The importance of understanding developmental stages[*]Appreciating the uniqueness of every child from a variety of perspectives[*]Tips to prevent problem behavior in the home[*]Building self-esteem in children and youth[*]Techniques to control tone and affect[*]Communication principles and strategies[*]How, why, and when to issue consequences[*]When and how to use incentives to motivate behavior[*]Helping children and youth to self-manage their behavior [/ul]
Each attendee receives a 30-page handout, which can be made available in advance.[/align]
#33
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ORIGINAL: cujo
A little fear does go a long way. But the trick is to have the kids fear the punishment for the deed, not fear the parent. If they are afraid of the punishment they might think twice. Unfortunately each kid is different and presents different challenges. Having to parent has got to be the most difficult task there is. Both Mom and Dad must provide a united front, kids will figure out who is the weak link. To those of you that are single parents, my hat is off to you. I know how difficult it is with two parents, I can't image going it alone. Just remember you are teaching them to become adults while at the same time they are teaching you to be parents.
A little fear does go a long way. But the trick is to have the kids fear the punishment for the deed, not fear the parent. If they are afraid of the punishment they might think twice. Unfortunately each kid is different and presents different challenges. Having to parent has got to be the most difficult task there is. Both Mom and Dad must provide a united front, kids will figure out who is the weak link. To those of you that are single parents, my hat is off to you. I know how difficult it is with two parents, I can't image going it alone. Just remember you are teaching them to become adults while at the same time they are teaching you to be parents.
my suggestion is crack the whip on them and let them know who the boss is. and then teach them to treat others how they want to be treated...