The "graveyard" (shift) to us Americans is midnight turn or 11-7.

 

I didn't vote either, but just a few thoughts. I found that there are always 3 sides or views to every story. Theres what you see or view. Then theres her view and then there is what everyone else sees. We don't live in a black and white world nothing is that defined, life is about being in the the middle or grey area. Every relationship needs what I call the 3 C's to survive, Commitment, Conversation and Compromise. Compromise is the grey area we all live in, in order to get along. Conversation is sitting down and having a meaningful talk, see what is bothering the other person, it might just be a action to some misinterpreted re-action, you know the old snow ball effect. When the blood pressure starts to rise, its time to sit back and think about what was said, yelling in my opinion solves nothing and leads to saying something we would normally save. Commitment, well that is pretty easy, take a good look in the mirror and if you can look at yourself every morning and say last night I made the right decision you are on the right track.

Think with your head not your heart, it can and will mislead you.

My prayers and thoughts are with you and for you and your family.

Remember Control is an illusion, no one knows what someone will do or what will happen next.

 

Everyone gave pretty sound advice already but here is my .02. Due to you having2 kids it worth the time and effort (even if in the long run it was for nothing) to try your best to work it out. My wife and I did some counseling at one point and it worked pretty well, kind of like adding an unbiased moderator to your life to help each of you understand each other. I disagree with mayfair on this, kids are always #1 priority, dont forget that. I read a book called "toxic parents" once, search for and read it, it will show you how even someof the little things you do now can have a lasting impression on your kids and may never go away.

 

Hey Jimmy..........no doubt that you've read some good advice here, and I really don't have much to add to this. I agree with everyone here. Just try to keep the emotion out of this situation if possible. Try to approach this in a logical and calm manner, and confront the issues openly.

Only you truely know your own situation and try your best to reach a reasonable and fair solution.

Good luck to you and your family.

 

bigriver, You said it best. BTDT twice!! Jimmy if all the above fails, no matter what you do, do not ever bad mouth her in front of or anywhere the kids will hear you or hear about it. They will figure out on their own who is (was) the better parent. PM me if you need to.

 

Sorry to know you have a problem, I could not cast a vote on this. How ever guys have to remember we do not think like women or mothers.

Think of a water glass and everytime yourlady does somthing to **** you off you put in a marble. You tell her aboutwhat was wrong and you dump the marble out of the glass.
Starting over fresh!

On her side she has a water glass when you do somthing wrong she puts in amarble. She tells youwhat you did wrong but in her case she does not dump out the marble,
in fact she never dumps outany marbles when you **** her off.

When her glass is full of marbles she has had enough and is ready to move on without
you. Its too late women are hard wired in this way.

Love your children, don't fight with her in front of them and do not bad mouth her in front of them no matter what she did.

Good Luck!

 

Jimmy, we don't know each other, but you did ask for our advice. Please take what I am about to say as a firm hand on the shoulder, not a punch in the eye.

It's indicative of something that you were seemingly (I'm guessing) unaware of her "looking elsewhere" and yet when you found out, you turned to an online forum of people, most of whom you've never met, with a poll asking for advice. I'm no pop psychologist, but that tells me your relationship with your wife is—and has been—nowhere near what it should be. Chances are she is looking to this guy to provide some sort of comfort, companionship or whatever, the same way you come here looking for advice. While she clearly has stepped over (several) lines and that is by no means to be excused or dismissed, the underlying cause probably involves fault on both sides. Only you and her can determine that through honest conversation, and then decide what to do about it.

My parents divorced when I was in third grade. There is nothing pleasant about any of it, for anyone.

You and your family will be in my prayers, my friend.

 

i voted kick her *** out. i hate that crap thats what i would do.. Your kids dont deserve a mom who cant be trusted. if she had problems with the relationship she should bring it up to you first before anything. thats rediculous going behind someones back is just the bitch way around things. all woman call all guys dogs but in all reality just as many woman do the same.
just my 2 cents.

 

I kinda dissagree chouseal

When in times of need, I think it's perfecly acceptable to reach out to anyone who will listen for help and advice. Nobody is forcing their opinion on anybody, but it's a good feeling to know that you are not alone in times of need.

 

Jimmy,

I just now read this post.

First of all, that f*ing sucks. Im sure you wanted to kill someone for a second there. I am only 18 so of course I would kick her the f*** outa my place but that is just me and my age. My parents divorced when I was 8. I remember all of it, if you are going to split up, you might wanta do it while the kids are young therefore they dont remember it. In my head, if you are loyal, you are loyal, if you are gunna cheat and ****, hell you are gunna cheat and ****. I voted give her the boot and go on in life. But that is just me.

Good luck with what ever you decide to do man!