Wow, sorry to hear the news Jimmy. Best of luck in your tough decisions you have ahead.

 

Let me start by thanking you all for your input, it had opened up a lot of different thoughts for me. Here is the update and final outcome of the whole situation. Tonight when I got home I told her that she has two choices, #-1 we can be roommates, she is to give me $600.00 every other week which I will pay her car payment and her 1/2 of the mortgage. I will cover all the other bills. she has to pay for her own gas and extra's. #-2 she can get the f^%@ out and never come back. she chose the roommate option. She then said I am being unfair and I should forgive her. I told her to log on to her myspace account (which she always refuses to show me) and leave me alone with it when I am done with it I will delete her account and we will discuss possible working things out. She refused to log on and let me see it. Due to her decision I am no longer married in my eyes and nor is she. I told her that she can do whatever she wants as long as she does not disrespect the house by bringing a guy over and I will follow the same rule. She still thinks we can work it out but without all the cards on the table there is no chance in hell.

 

well, you know what they say: the leading cause of divorce, is marriage...

 

Actually jimmy, I am usually all for working things out for the kids and think the roomie idea is the best (although it wont be easy) but seeing as she has a secret myspace page it seems that she most certainly cannot be trusted. She will likely now either start a new page or edit the current and then show it to you. Good luck bro, I am truely sorry for what you will have to go through and already have gone through with this. I would also advise you to start keeping records (dates times etc) and possibly recordings of conversations to present in court, maybe you wont need it but it never hurts to be prepared.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself!

 

Jimmy I am sorry to hear that man!

I think everybody here gave great advise on what they think. I think you made the right choice though!

I had a girlfriend (4 years), and found out she has been snooping around.(uhh... 6 times in the relationship). truth be told, once she does it once, she will do it again! After me and her broke up I tryed to stay with her and work it out. We tried... for over a year in a half. Justso I can find out that when "we were trying"(me) she cheated on me another 5 times. Now, thatjust sounds like somebody that would not change. MOST girls are like this, they will never change. Remember,It will NEVER BE THE SAME. You NEED to remember that. For HER it could be the same as it was before, but for YOU it wont be. You can never trust her again, and never fully will.

When she doesn't want you to see her myspace, shes hiding something. no doubt about it. If it wasnt "that bad" she would show you... and if you really want to know whats going on, you can go to the "i lost my password" on her myspace and it will send you her password. Just be careful, what you see will probably break your heart and thats why she doesnt want to show her.

My opinion, don't even live with her. Have her move(or you move) to the other side of the city or something. Get you life back together AFTER you talk with the kids and tell the kids whats REALLY going on... Put the kids first! BUT, living together would be too hard. Sooner or later you guys are both going to get tired of each other, and when you see her on the phone with another guy you know it will kill you for a while! I know its got to be hard though man! just be VERY careful with what you say, and DONT talk to her when you are very pissed off. Nothing ever comes good from that really!

I'm young... but I hope that helps you out some.

-Austin

 

Honestly Jimmy, I had a friend who's parents did the same thing you are planning. It never worked well and quite frankly, I found it strange and really cheesy. JMHO, but see how it works out for you and the kids.

 

She probably thinks you're cheating on her, by all the text messages you send me...

Sorry, had to try to make ya chuckle...

****ty luck though, dude...

 

Print out her cell phone records, credit card transactions, etc. Get these on paper before she either changes the login\password or removes you from the account. Also, see if you can get a list of her text messages from her cell, incoming and outgoing.

And you are exactly right, Jimmy, if she wants to work this out with you, she has to be complete open and honest. She needs to be transparent in everything she does before you can ever trust her again. It will take YEARS for her to rebuild that trust.

Best of luck to you and your children.

Mike